Jamaica?
No, she went of her own accord.
Is she Russian?
No, she’s taking her time.
Genoa?
I should think so, we’ve been married for 20 years.
Krakatoa?
No. She broke her leg.
Goa?
Phwoar! I’ll say!
Caracas?
Yes, absolutely loopy
Wye?
Search me.
Kew?
Yes, it was rather busy.
Lilongwe?
Yes, about 5000 miles
Inkhazi?
Yes, constantly.
Nice?
No, her Aunt and Uncle actually
Seoul?
No, R&B
Qatar?
Yes, she was coughing up greenies for weeks
Bled?
like a stuck pig.
Split?
No, they’re still happily married.
Singapore?
Terrible. And the rest of the band was even worse.
In Dorset?
Yes, she’d recommend it to anyone.
Lampeter?
No, she drove into a wall.
Jakarta?
No, she flew with British Airways.
Alaska?
Would you? Thanks very much.
Amsterdam?
No, he built an aqueduct.
Antarctic?
No, it’s my uncle as it happens.
Bombay?
No, it was inland.
Chile?
Don’t be an idiot, it’s boiling over there!
China?
No, I thought I’d get plastic ones.
Dubai?
No, but I did sell a couple of tanks.
Hungary?
Yeah, that’s the whole problem.
Iran?
No, he stood his ground.
Japan?
No, we mined.
Jersey?
No, track suit.
Kenya?
No, I just can’t afford it.
Kuwait?
No, I’ve got to go now!
Leeds?
No, flea spray.
Moscow?
No, fungal sheep.
New Jersey?
No, I think I’ll try to mend it.
Nice?
No, the sewage was appalling.
Norway?
Yes way!
Paignton?
No, I’m wallpapering.
Paraguay?
Well, he’s a commando.
Poole?
No, I prefer darts.
Rhodes?
Well, the railways are worst.
Romania?
Exactly!
Seoul?
No, R&B.
Shetland?
No, he’s a Labrador.
Skye?
No, I hate landscapes.
Tibet?
Of course! Why else would he go?
Toulouse?
I hope not, he only took a thousand francs.
Turkey?
No, grouse has more flavour.
Wales?
No, just trout.
Ukraine?
Yeah, but I’m over it now.
Bahrain?
No, we had that too
Altrincham?
No, they’re a perfect fit.
Uganda?
Nah, she did all the looking, I just stayed in the pub
Bruge ?
Nahh, she sprained her wrist
Sudan?
Yeah, she got run over by a bus
Eurostar?
Well I’ve been on telly but I’m no Dean Martin
Hanover?
Yes, for the whole next day